Dating For Dummies.

The other day I was at a coffee shop and spotted a couple around my age: The girl was dressed casually, in jeans and cardigan, and the guy, gripping his Venti drip, wore a backwards baseball cap. I'd have thought they were friends, or even siblings, had I not heard the girl ramble on about her ex-boyfriend while the boy asked her half-interested questions. Eavesdropping a bit more (the line at Starbucks was long, okay?) I was able to decipher the situation clearly: These two people were on a first date.

Okay, far be it for me to slam a first date - if you get them, congratulations! First dates are the portals to potential relationships, so that's great. However, a first date gone bad could be fatal. Like my mother always told me, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. A part of me wanted to go all Patti Stager/Steve Ward on the couple, and interject, but the train wreck of a conversation was far too entertaining to tear my earlobes away.

What did this girl do wrong? 

For starters, she accepted a date during the day. First dates should never be in broad daylight. If a guy's asking you to grab coffee during the day, he doesn't want to spend too much time with you, or at least, can't spend too much time with you, OR is just an idiot (and his day-dates are symbolic of what your relationship will be like with him). Plus, it's a double-no if you're meeting him for coffee, because he is choosing to pay for your three-dollar cup, as opposed to your thirty-dollar meal. 

Second, she brought up her ex-boyfriend. If I had a nickel. . . Trust me, he doesn't want to know. Taking you out means he's focused on you and your singleness, not on you and your unfinished business with your ex (and girls, it's totally unfinished if you feel the need to name drop in front of the new guy). Even if he's one of those guys that actually is interested in knowing your relationship history [on the first date], don't tell him. Steer the conversation in a different direction (like out the door, because that's just weird). Keep in mind: Just because he wants to know, doesn't mean he'll be able to deal with the information. You don't know the kind of switch you're working with on a first date: check the ex-talk at the door.

Of course, first-date mistakes aren't always deal breakers, and never do you want to mask who you really are (I mean, at the end of the day we all have to take off our makeup, right?), but there are certainly little things we can all do to make our first dates run as smoothly as possible, starting with dinner and drinks at eight pm.


Oh, before I forget, check out Money Rabbit (for all legitimate financial advice) and Fratitude (for a guy's perspective).

totally irrelevant, yet totally gratuitous. aren't you glad i posted?