[5]
The time's come where you and your date have gotten to know each other well past where you went to college, what you do for a living, and all your other common interests. You've recounted work stories, given each other detailed tidbits about your friends, and you now know that he has a younger sister, and an older brother. You've been on multiple dates, and he's even had his arm around you when you've been out and about and you've encountered... his ex. Holy awkward. Alright, it's now inevitable that you have the ex talk, and squash the gigantic elephant in the room.
The time's come where you and your date have gotten to know each other well past where you went to college, what you do for a living, and all your other common interests. You've recounted work stories, given each other detailed tidbits about your friends, and you now know that he has a younger sister, and an older brother. You've been on multiple dates, and he's even had his arm around you when you've been out and about and you've encountered... his ex. Holy awkward. Alright, it's now inevitable that you have the ex talk, and squash the gigantic elephant in the room.
To be completely honest, I always think about a guy's ex, even when I first meet the guy. I start conjuring up images in my head of what they look like, what their relationship was like, and how he stands with her. But I'm going to take the plunge and guess that I'm not the only one that thinks that way. I believe it's human nature for us all (girl or guy) to get caught up in the juiciest of details. The exes always top the list of juicy stuff we want to know, but probably shouldn't.
But now it's time. How do you even broach that awkward mess of a subject? Here's the deal. Guy or girl, you don't want to overstep your boundaries and pry too much. Some people will talk more freely about their exes (girls, I'm lookin' at you) and some won't want to broach the topic. When they do, it's more of an eye roll (sometimes an under-his-breath curse fest). Scope out how comfortable he/she is talking about their "dating history" (and yes, that is a very appropriate term to use, seeing as you probably don't know how sensitive they are when it comes to their ex). Pick up on cues, like body language, eye shifts and fidgety hands. The last thing you're looking to do is make them uncomfortable (it will really only push him away from you, even subconsciously). Maybe he feels it's even still too early for you to know the dirty details. Eventually, it all comes out, but make sure you are respecting his privacy. Guys, you have it a bit easier. I don't know too many girls who won't talk about their ex-boyfriends, especially since most girls use this conversation as a bit of an incognito test of their new man's confidence and security. Bottom line? Everyone's got a limit, and while it's okay to pry in the ex territory, it's advised that you proceed with caution.
so trueeeeee, pretty much the story of my life.
ReplyDeleteDigging for ex info is totally my favorite part of the game, not going to lie. And I really DO believe that everyone is curious about their love interest/current boyfriend/girlfriend's exes. However, there's a time and a place.
ReplyDeleteHmm... interesting perspective. Thumbs up ;)
ReplyDeleteLogan - Fratitude.net