The Ex-Factor: He Made His Decision.

I am forever searching for insightful relationship topics that would benefit a spread of readers, and one reader just so happened to provide me with quite the perfect question:

What happens when the guy you're interested in 

(and believed the interest there was mutual) 

gets back together with his ex?

I've seen this happen on many occasions, leaving most girls flabbergasted, and left in the dark to ponder what went wrong. I've been there. Your mind starts racing: What did I do? What could I have done differently? But most importantly: Damn. This guy is an asshole.

The truth of the matter is, it's really easy for your girlfriends to sit semi-circle on your bed, and tell you how you deserve better, and what a d-bag he is, but in fact, they're absolutely right. Unfortunately, you were blindsided by a guy who didn't realize what a great thing he had going... with you.

I once made the mistake of lashing out on the ex (in the privacy of my own head, of course), when I was the one who fell for the guy with the baggage. I took comfort in my girlfriends' hateful words towards her; it always made me feel better to hear that I was so much prettier, so much better. This was an ongoing pattern, until I realized that finding flaws in this "she-who-should-not-be-named" was nothing more than a waste of my time. At the end of the day, she never had anything to do with our failed relationship attempt / attempt at a deeper connection.

I got involved with a guy who had unfinished business. 

When it comes down to it, no matter how long you were with this guy, or talking to him, the fact that he ran back to his ex-girlfriend is a sign that he just wasn't / isn't ready to move on yet. It doesn't mean that he played you for a fool during the time you spent together. Was it a jerk move? Yeah, it was, regardless of whether or not he intended to hurt you (and chances are, he never meant to, no matter how selfish he is). But, the way the cookie crumbles, you remain the party left in the dust. There is no formula to determine how long it takes anyone to get over their ex (some say it takes half the time you dated, but I'm here to call bullshit on that one). The only formula you have to understand is this:

One guy with baggage

Plus you,

Will never a successful relationship equal.

My advice to you? Find someone whose heart isn't half occupied,
so you can be the one to fill that void there.