A New Kind of Beer Goggles.

When I think about the kind of facial I enjoy being treated to, I think aromatic smells and thick, pasty textures. Tantalizing, I know but nonetheless, normal, right? Stumbling upon the BEER FACIAL, I felt my stomach tie in a million knots. I won't even put beer in my mouth. Do I really want that frat house smell lingering on my face for hours? Maybe days (depending on how often I shower)? Regardless, I had to uncover, because the thought was so disturbing yet so intriguing.

Apparently, beer-to-the-face (literally) helps retain your skin glow (what? yeah) and is also great for your hair. Who knew I was doing myself a favor when I allowed a couple boys to pour beer all over my roommate and I in college? We sputtered as the beer ran amuck on our face, down our bodies. The boys all cheered, but now I feel as though I won out on the deal, too. No wonder my skin is so flawless. 

It was the beer!

In a bowl, mix some honey, olive oil, lemon juice and beer (your choice, I guess, since not one "recipe" I've found, specifies), and apply the goop to your face ten to fifteen minutes before you shower. Apparently, this godly concoction also helps with oily skin.

The verdict: There's no way in hell I'm trying this. I don't care what the recipe says, it seems like one big April Fools joke to me. Even a penny pincher like me can find alternative ways to cleansing my skin that doesn't involve a thirty rack of Coors.